Reaching To Cloud
by xXLoveyDemoGirl16Xx
Summary: Cloud hasn't been normal.. Tifa wonders why. She gets hurt the fact that Cloud won't ever talk to her, and ignore her. What is going on on Cloud's head? Why could he possibly do this to Tifa, knowing that it hurts her? Will their friendship ever get fixed? Or will it always stay tense between them? Find out by reading! Please Review!


A few months has passed after the death of Sephiroth. Geostigma no longer exists, thanks to the holy water that rained from the sky, and there is finally peace in the world. The majority of people are getting jobs to support a family but also to make a new society, while the kids are starting to go to school to prepare for their future. This is what we, The Avalanche fought for all these years, and we finally made that become a reality. But even if peace has returned to our planet, I can never be in peace. After Cloud defeated Sephiroth, I thought our friendship would get better over time. But sadly, I was wrong. Every time Cloud finishes his deliveries and comes back to the bar, he would always hug Denzel and Marlene with the biggest smile and would always play with them. But when I try to talk to him, he would soon stop smiling, look down on the ground, and just say to me on a low voice:

"Hi…"

And after that, he gets the excuse that he is tired from work and needs to go to sleep. I stand there every day, just seeing him walk away without ever talking to me. He has been acting like this ever since he defeated Sephiroth and I have no idea why he acts like a jerk towards me. Maybe it's because… He never cared about me in the first place. He never did, and he never will. To him, I am just a bartender that is giving him a place to stay. To him, I'm like a stranger. Maybe his mind is filled with so many deliveries, that he doesn't even have the time to think of me. Or maybe… His mind is filled of Aerith. I don't blame him if he does. Aerith is such a beautiful girl, who wouldn't fall for her? In the past, I felt he had an attraction to her and I felt… Like the whole world is on to destroy me into little pieces. I have seen things that made me think he was attracted to her, like the way he would stare at her, the way they laughed together, how he would always protect her from any danger and be his "bodyguard". More like, boyfriend. And my heart clenched a little every time they spent time alone. I bet they have already kissed and were going out secretly. I just felt it, even though that meant I would never be happy. Barret and Yuffie would always tell me that I should tell Cloud of how I feel about him, but I never did that, because the truth is, that I wanted him to be happy, even if that means I can't be part of his life, or can't get the key to his heart. Cloud and Aerith will always love each other, no matter what happens or how far they are from each other. Just because Aerith is dead, that doesn't mean I get to win him. As long as he loves her back and she loves him too, that bond of love can never be broken. I may not ever find happiness, because I love Cloud so badly, and it hurts me so much to see him loving someone else. But there is nothing I can do. Life is unfair, and you have to live it the way it is whether you like it or not. That is what I have learned through all of this. All of this that I just shared to you my readers, I am now sharing it to Yuffie. She came to my bar just to see how I was, and she already noticed I wasn't being myself. So, I just told her everything of how bad my friendship is with Cloud, and how hopeless this is.

"I feel like… I am a total stranger to him. I wish I have never met him, that way I won't have to bother him anymore with my presence."

Right now, the bar is closed. It's 11:30 PM, the bar is pretty empty, and Cloud should be coming at any minute. As I was telling my story, Yuffie was resting her legs on top of the table and leaning her head on her hands with her eyes closed while listening to me. Yuffie is Yuffie. She does what she wants when she wants to. And if you violate that rule from her, she would take you on a fight with no mercy.

"That's bullcrap! I mean, are you even listening to yourself? Do you really think he doesn't want to talk to you at all?" Yuffie said.

"What can I say? He has stopped talking to me for almost 3 months. It's pretty obvious he wants to stay away from me."

"That's bullshit! I don't care what you say, there's no way that all of a sudden you are invisible to him." Yuffie said now sitting normally to look at me.

I just shrug and say: "It is what it is."

While I took a drink of whiskey, I could feel Yuffie looking at me for a long time. But I try to ignore that and keep drinking.

"Tifa, I just feel like you are getting more depressed every time I see you. I just hope you don't get as depressive as when we really thought we lost Cloud."

Oh, I remember that time PERFECTLY as if it were yesterday. That time when Cloud nearly lost his conscience, gave the Black Materia to Sephiroth, and disappeared in the deep toxic Mako energy. I really thought I have lost him forever. I felt stupid and guilty for not protecting him. I was so lost, and empty in my heart. I even attempted suicide but then Barret stopped me from doing it. That is how depressed I was when Cloud was gone.

"Look, I don't think Cloud hates you. I think something happened for him to be acting like that." Yuffie said disrupting my train of thought.

"Why are you so sure about that?"

"Come on! Don't tell me you forgot you guys were pretty close when you were kids!"

I shook my head and said: "We were just neighbors and would see each other every day. We never talked that much. But when he left to become a Soldier, I never stopped thinking about him."

"Never talked? What about that promise you guys made?"

I smiled just as I remembered back in that day, when we were actually sitting together under the stars. But I remind myself that makes no difference. My smile slowly fades as I face reality and say:

"It was just… Kid's stuff…"

Yuffie opened her mouth to say something, but words did not come out because she was interrupted by a noise of a motorcycle that was slowly approaching.

"That must be Cloud…" I say wishing I never have to see his face again.

As the door opens, his figure can be seen holding a jacket while he was removing his goggles. As he entered the bar, I kept my head low so I won't have to annoy him with my look. And then suddenly I sensed from upstairs footsteps anxiously running. Then I see Denzel and Marlene on their pajamas running down the stairs straight to Cloud.

"Cloud!" They both yell with excitement as they run to him.

They throw themselves to him and Cloud hugs them both while laughing.

"How have you guys been?" Cloud says to them while releasing the hug.

"We've missed you Cloud!" Denzel says.

"I missed you too buddy." He says while rubbing his hair, causing a mess.

"Why are you guys still awake? You should be sleeping by now." I say now standing up to look at them, but avoiding to look at Cloud.

As soon as they heard me, their little smiles slowly faded.

"Sorry Tifa.. It's just.. We couldn't sleep without seeing Cloud." Marlene says with the saddest voice I have heard yet.

I just sigh in response. I don't blame them, after all, this is the only time they have to be with Cloud and I know they love him and would do anything to be with him. It's not their fault, they are just innocent kids.

"Tifa, we're sorry if we disobeyed and made you mad…" Denzel says.

This broke my heart a little because I didn't mean to make them feel bad of anything because of me. So as I walked to them and Cloud stood up and walked somewhere else, I kneeled down on them, and looked them in their angelic eyes for a second. Suddenly I start to tickle them both so I can hear their sweet laughter so I can feel better.

"Ok, ok Tifa stop!" Denzel says laughing uncontrollably.

"Yeah, we give up!" Marlene says trying to control her laughter.

"All right! But I don't want to see any sad faces in this bar. Understood?" I said smiling at them.

"Yes, Tifa!" They say at the same time.

They kiss goodnight to Cloud and Yuffie, and then run upstairs to their room. Now that the kids are gone, I begin to feel tense again. I go back to where I was seating, while Cloud hangs his jacket on a hanger and says:

"Long time no see, Yuffie."

"Meh, it's only been a couple of months." She says shrugging.

Cloud walks to the other side of the table we are seating. I only take a quick look to see him. But at that same time he looked at me too, and a second later he turned his attention to Yuffie. Through the whole conversation, I only stare down the table.

"What brings you here?" Cloud says.

"Just wanted to see you people, see what you were up to."

"Nothing much has happened. Working hard as usual. How is your father and the kingdom?"

"Wutai is as peaceful as ever. Which bores me to death. So I've been going around places collecting more materia and beating monsters."

Cloud smirks and says: "You never get tired of that, do you?"

"Heck no! One day I will be the strongest ninja you could ever meet, and I will beat your ass!" Yuffie says and starts to laugh.

"Keep dreaming." Cloud says while serving himself some whiskey.

Yuffie was going to say something, or probably yell at him. But I quickly stand up and say:

"I… I better go to sleep."

And I quickly go upstairs without saying anything else or looking back. I probably looked a little rude, but if the conversation is only between them, then what 's the point of me being there? I already feel invisible. Besides, I don't want to keep making Cloud uncomfortable with me being there. Just as I touched the doorknob to enter in my room, I heard my name. I turn around to see Yuffie running to me.

"What's the big idea leaving like that?"

"Sorry if I looked rude back there, I just can't stand it when he constantly ignores me."

"No, it's okay. But you should go back downstairs though."

"What for? So I can keep getting ignored?"

"I just came up with this great idea. I know you will love it!"

Oh no. When Yuffie has an idea, something crazy always happens. What could she possibly be thinking about now?

"An idea? This better be good." I said crossing my arms.

Yuffie rolled her eyes and said: "Look, I know you're going to love it. In fact, I know you guys will end together because of me, and then you're going to give me all of your materia because I made you the happiest woman in the whole world and…"

"Yuffie! Just cut to the chase!" I said stopping her blabbering.

"Alright, alright jeez! You don't have to be so impatient!"

I rolled my eyes and waited for what she had to say. She took a breath and said:

"I was just thinking… Cloud has to do the deliveries every day, right? Well.. What if you go with him and help him out, and maybe along the way you guys could start talking! What do you say about that?"

"I say, you are insane." I said smirking.

"Come on! It's not such a bad idea!"

"Yuffie, that is impossible. In case you forgot, I am the one that has to be in charge of the bar and take care of the kids. I can't just run away from my responsibilities."

"I can take care of the bar and the kids."

"But it's not that easy! You wouldn't survive one day here, trust me."

"I'm sure it's not a big deal! All I have to do is cooking and giving drinks to strangers. How hard can it be?"

"It's more than that! You have to wash the dishes, do the laundry, mop the floor, clean the whole house, help the kids with the homework, and.. So much more. It's just too much for you."

"If you do all that every day, then I'm sure I can do it smoothly on one day."

I was about to say something else, but I close my mouth. Should I really go with Cloud? Is this even going to work?

"Don't be too scared! I promise that in the end this will all be worth it." Yuffie says trying to cheer me up.

"But.. What if.. He says no?" I say staring down to the ground.

"Then keep pushing harder. If he says no, then find something else to do with him. But don't give up."

Could this actually work? I think about it for a moment, just me and him, together with no more disturbances between us. Just love, happiness, and affection. Just me and him, under the night sky, just like we used to when we were kids. Would all of this happen if I go with him? Would I get that sweet smile from him? Or that laugh that makes my stomach tingle? Would I ever get to look to those blue blue eyes that always make my heart feel like it's flying toward the sky? My life would be so perfect if I ever get to be close to him. But, wait a second.. What if this doesn't work at all? What if everything gets worse? What if one day he would come to hate me even more than now? I couldn't bring myself together if he ends hating me.

"No Yuffie, it's not going to work." I said.

"Come on! At least try talking to him now! He is waiting downstairs."

I look at her for a minute, deciding on what I would do, until I finally said:

"Fine! But if he says no, I will never bother him again." I said and go downstairs.

And, there I find Cloud sitting where I was sitting before. As soon as I got there, he looked at me thinking that it was Yuffie, but his head turned to the other side when he noticed it was me. As I felt my heart clenching a little, I said:

"Hi Cloud."

"Hi…"

I walk to sit right next to him. We sit there in silence for who know how long, not knowing what to say. I turn my head to see him, but when I did he just stared down to the ground. I tried to let the words come out, but I felt like I was choking, letting the words get stuck on my throat. As the minutes pass by, the atmosphere was getting even more uncomfortable. Until Cloud broke the tense moment by saying:

"I better go to sleep."

"Wait!" I say quickly, making Cloud stop standing up, but still facing his back to me.

"I have to tell you something, so please… Don't leave me."

Cloud stayed in that position for some time until he said: "I already paid for the bills."

"That's not what I wanted to talk about"

"Then what is it?"

"I.. I was thinking of going with you to help on the deliveries.."

Now he stands up and says: "Tifa, you know you can't. You have to take care of the bar and the kids."

"Don't worry, Yuffie will take care of that."

"Are you serious..?"

"Cloud trust me, she will do fine."

He stands silent again, staring at the wall. Why he can't let me see those sky blue eyes that I yearn to look?

"Cloud… I'm only doing this, because I feel we have become so distant from each other. I miss the way we used to talk. Don't you miss that?"

He shook his head and said: "Sorry Tifa, I… I can't let you."

"Why?" I said, already feeling that my heart is aching.

"Because… I can't.."

I stood up to walk toward him and say: "Why do you always have to push me away from you? All I'm trying is to be a good friend, but you never appreciate that." I said while I swear I could have almost cried. But I hold my tears, because I don't want to look weak to him. And every time I tried to see his face, he would always turn his back to me again.

He stays quiet for a few minutes and then says: "I'm sorry Tifa… I hope one day you can understand why I do this."

He picked up his jacket and went upstairs, to then hear a door slam. As soon as he was long gone, a tear quickly fell. But I wiped it and went upstairs. I was just about to go to my room, but then I heard a noise coming from the kid's room. What are they doing? Why are they not sleeping? I go in their room to see what's happening, and there I see Yuffie watching TV with Marlene and Denzel.

"Woah! Did you see what he did? That was AWESOME!" Denzel said pointing at the TV.

"I love the story! It is so romantic!" Marlene said.

"I told you it was a great show! Man, that dude is good at fighting! He was all like piu piu piuu!" Yuffie said while she was making gun gestures.

Right..It just had to be Yuffie. They still haven't noticed I'm here, so I clear my throat to call their attention. They all looked to me surprised while I crossed my arms and waited for a good explanation.

"Oh hiya Tifa!" Yuffie said finally so loud that I thought she would wake up the whole town.

"Yuffie, really? I leave you alone for 3 minutes and you had to wake up the kids?"

Yuffie smiled innocently and said: "Oopsie! Sorry about that, I just couldn't hold myself! There is this new show that I really love and I didn't want to miss it!"

I just sighed and didn't even try to say anything. I wasn't in the mood to talk, but then I felt someone hugging my legs. I looked down to see Marlene hugging me while looking with me with those big worried hazel eyes.

"Tifa? What's wrong?" She said.

I soon felt bad for making he worry. I knelt down so I can be on her level, I tried to smile so she will believe me and said:

"Of course I'm fine, I'm just tired. And you know you should be sleeping by now."

"But…!"

"No buts! There's school tomorrow and I don't want you to be late!" I said picking her up and putting her in her bed.

Then I did the same thing with Denzel, but while I was tucking him to his bed, he looked at me and said:

"You're not mad at us.. Are you?"

I smiled a little.

"Of course not. You are my little angles. I would never be mad at you." I said and then I kiss his forehead. Then I did the same for Marlene.

After that I noticed that Yuffie was still seating on the floor, watching TV with a big grin. I sighed telling myself: When will she ever grow up? I got the remote control and turned the TV off, making Yuffie jump up from her seat and yelled to me:

"Hey! What was that for?!"

I wasn't in the mood to argue, so I grabbed her ear and pulled her outside of the kid's room. I pushed her out on the halls, then turned off the lights of the kid's room and said to them:

"Goodnight! May the angels give you sweet dreams!"

I closed the door and stood there while Yuffie said:

"Goddam it Tifa! How dare you turn off my TV!"

I didn't say anything, just stood there facing my back to her. But then I could no longer control my tears, and they had to fall. I tried to stay quiet, but I accidentally whimpered a little.

"Tifa?" Yuffie asked.

I felt her hand touch my shoulder, and slowly turned me around to see me already crying.

"Oh, Tifa! What happened? Is this about Cloud?" She said concerned while she was wiping my tears.

I closed my eyes tight so I could hold on the tears and said: "I told you… I told you he would say no!"

"Tifa! Calm down!"

"Oh, forget it! This is pointless. He hates me and that's it!" I said.

I ran to my room, not even letting her say what she was going to say. I locked my door and threw myself to bed without a care. I didn't care if I wasn't on my pajamas, I didn't care about anything. I just wish I didn't have to exist. I turned my body facing up to the ceiling, just gazing at the darkness. As I was waiting for this terrible day to end, and my heart beating with unimaginable pain, I closed my eyes,trying for this pain to go away, and soon, the room around me will fade into a bitter darkness, where my consciousness can finally rest in peace and erase the heartache temporarily.


End file.
